Broken: On Mental Abuse

Bullies have one agenda--make you smaller so they can appear bigger. Most times, they have something going on in their lives they don't want people to know. Maybe its a poor family life, or they're missing someone close to them who passed away. At least, in the movies that's true. In real life, they can just be cruel for no reason at all. That was how it was in my life. I could give you a list of tips for how to handle abuse given by such people, but it won't always work. All I CAN really tell you, it's going to hurt. Some days will be better than others. I do know one thing for sure--you have to survive it.

I wish there is a magic wand that you can wave that makes it all go away. Kids can be cruel. I mean really cruel. Some don't understand the ramifications of their words or actions. They can't put themselves in your shoes to see how it feels. Maybe they just don't want to. It is easier for them to be on that side of things--dishing it out. Then they call you more names because you react to their harsh words. It's a never-ending cycle. The action--your reaction.

I've seen inspirational signs my entire life--"hang in there", "you have the power to dismiss the pain", etc. Being honest, those signs never really helped me. Of course, you're not me so maybe they can help you. I wasn't mentally strong to keep my power. And I honestly don't know if the people who came up with all of those sayings ever went through that type of abuse.

Boys and girls are different when it comes to mental abuse. Some will turn to violence to cope with the pain. Some will go to alcohol to cope. Others will hide with themselves. I was the latter. I discovered that words could heal as well as damage. Writing gave me a strength I didn't have and helped me through the pain, giving me a different type of power--one that would remain with me as I grew up. I became a published author as a result. I SURVIVED. It didn't make the pain go away, but it gave me an understanding.

If you are someone who is going through a form of mental abuse, I can tell you this...

• YOU are deserving of something better.

• YOU are not alone.

• YOU are loved!

• There is a purpose for YOU.

• YOU are special.

• There is no other you in the world and YOU were made for a reason. It wasn't for this abuse that you are going through. It wasn't for the teasing or the bullying. And it wasn't your fault.

You are a beautiful human being. True beauty comes from within. It lives inside your heart. I know the teasing hurts and I wish I could take it all away. I know the pain you're feeling because I've felt it and I wish someone could have taken it away from me. I prayed daily for it. I prayed so hard, I began to think everything was my fault, that I was put on this Earth for their pleasure. I thought I was nothing. And there are days when that sneaks in my thoughts today because of that bullying 30 years ago. Yes, it can have everlasting effects like that. Talking about it does help. Reaching out does help. And you can do something I didn't, fight it while it's still going on. Not physically, that wouldn't be good. Find strength in others.

The kids today have way more resources than I did back in the 80s and 90s. I'm talking 1980s-1990s. Back when the Internet was still new or non-existent. Today, you can seek help online, where you can change your name. You can be almost anyone, including a true form or yourself where you have a voice. And believe me, YOUR voice DOES matter! It is a beautiful voice and should be heard. Let people hear you. Speak the truth.

I'm going to open the floor now. I'd love to hear your stories. If you have gone through any sort of abuse, speak up. Share your experience. This is one pandemic we need to get rid of. Your story matters. If you were able to rise above it, share how you did it. Maybe someone needs to hear your story. Thank you!!

To read my full story, check out Broken. It releases today! Thank you!